Teenage Dream
by AnGelFacE S2
Summary: She was completely and totally in love with him; they were the 'techies', they were best friends; yet he never notices. It was slowly killing her. Eric/OC
1. Lullaby

**Author's Note:** I'm going to write this story until I get some ideas for my Nate/Hallie one. But; I've also fallen in love with Barrett Foa. ^.^

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except my OC Kaylee; because everything else belongs to Shane Brennan.

Oh, there's even a quote in here from someone called Jeneveve87; I'll put that there also because I really don't own it. XD.

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_She grew up with  
the children of the stars in the  
hollywood hills and the boulevard  
her parents threw big parties  
everyone was there  
they hung out with folks like dennis  
hopper, bob seeger, and sonny and cher  
but she feels safe now  
in the bar on fairfax  
and from the stage I can tell that  
she can't let go and she can't relax  
and just before  
she hangs her head to cry  
I sing to her a lullaby,_

Why is it we always fall for our best friends? Is it because we know we can trust them? Is it because we know them so well? Is it because of the way they know exactly what's going on in our heads? Or is it because they are there any day, anytime, anywhere without the promise of kisses, intimate touches or whispered sentiments of love? I think you love them because you can't be apart from someone for too long...you're always thinking of them, and when you're with them you never want to say goodbye. Love is far from simple. It's quite complex. It's a mix of about everything. It's sadness, joy, passion, hatred, excitement, it's almost every feeling you can imagine and more.

You know love when you find it, it's that person that when they smile it brightens up your day, you can't stop staring at them for fear of losing them, they're always on your mind, you daydream of being with them, even if they're less than 20 feet away...and you can't stand it when they're not with you, the worst feeling you could ever feel is when you know that person you love is not with you...you can't tell when love will happen, you just know when it does, that moment when you first lay eyes on that person, and you never want to look away...that is love. Nothing less.

I loved him before I was actually aware of it. I loved him when it all began two years ago; out partnership. Batman and Robin, Shake and Bake, Peanut butter and Jelly.

We would have sleepovers every Friday night at his house. Staying up into the early morning playing video games on the Xbox and eating now cold pizza. We would sleep in the bed together if we got too tired; because we were adults, and we could keep our hands to ourselves. I could keep the urge to kiss him or more to myself; I always slept with my back to him because I didn't trust myself not too. Every morning I would wake with an arm protectively around me; I would fight the urge to snuggle in closer to him and instead getting up out of the bed and walking into the kitchen; watching the surfers on the beach catching the early morning swell.

When I was sick with the flu, he came over without fear of catching it himself and made me rest. He gave me his laptop and sat with me on my bed; teaching me how to play the latest version of COD. He made me a hot water bottle and placed it by my feet; he would climb in with me and help me play the game. I asked him why he wasn't at work and he told me that Hetty had given him the day off to look after me.  
And for that, I would love him for a lifetime.

The day that Dom died; the day he was gunned down and killed by terrorists. The whole atmosphere in the ops room was cold, distant and disbelieving. My mind shouted to me to walk away and not look back. There was Kensi, Sam and Callen on the roof; tears falling from their eyes as I struggled to keep my own at bay. Hetty was the first to leave the room; then Nate to go and comfort her. It left just me and Eric. He didn't say anything. Because all day we had worked on the laptop to try and get it to work; we thought of what we were going to do with Dom when he came back to us.  
Finally, I felt the first tear drop onto my cheek; then another, and then another. In seconds I had fallen to the floor crying with my head in my hands.

Eric was quickly by my side comforting me; telling me that everything was going to be okay and how he was going to help me through this; how we were going to help each other.  
I quickly noticed that he wasn't crying; yet his eyes were telling me that he wasn't because he was trying to be strong for me. My arms wrapped around his neck as I buried myself my face in his chest. He rubbed my back as I continued to cry. The little make up around my eyes started to smudge slightly as I tried to slow my breathing down.

Later that night; we both decided to go home; knowing that there was nothing more that we could do. He took me back to my apartment and we sat on the couch all night listening to my ipod through the speakers and eating left over Chinese.  
Neither of us knew what to say; how to comfort each other. We knew Sam and his wife were at home. Callen and Kensi were probably at a bar somewhere and Nate was back at the office with Hetty writing up a report of some sort.  
All we had was each other that night; and I didn't know if I really wanted it any other way. His arm was placed firmly around my shoulders as if I would fall apart if he let go, I don't know. I probably would.

We weren't agents like the others; we only got and gave the intel to the rest of the team. Hetty constantly told us that without us the team would fall apart; cases would never be solved and we wouldn't have a job. We didn't know how to deal with blows like this. Because we were always safe back in the structure of the office; the four walls protected us. I once asked Eric what he would do if I became a field agent and he just laughed and said that there was no other way to describe it.  
When we went to bed; he climbed in next to me and placed an arm around my waist; holding me close to his body. The way best friends do. He wouldn't think anything of it; yet I thought everything of it. Because I was so in love with him that just being in his arms was almost like my wildest dreams had come true.

He didn't think anything of me then a little sister; a best friend.  
And in the morning; everything would be normal between us; it always happened. And I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with it. I've asked Kensi, I've asked Hetty. They've both told me that I should tell him; Kensi said it more of a tone of 'You should kiss him and see what he does', but I can't, because they're not in my position, they don't have him over at nights, they don't have him kiss the side of your head when you're upset. But I suppose that's something; at least he cares about me; just not the way I want him too.


	2. Fall To Pieces

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces  
I just wanna sit and stare at you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just wanna cry in front of you.  
I don't wanna talk about it  
'Cause I'm in love with you._

It was the knowing glances the women on the team threw at me. Kensi and Hetty were the worst for it; Kensi always nudged me and told me to 'go for it'. I would slap her arm away and told her to ask Callen out then we would talk. It usually shut her up.

Hetty would always bail me up somewhere; even though she made it seem as though she 'accidently' bumped into me at the coffee bench or the change rooms or even the bathrooms, and give me wise pieces of advice which would subtly hint that Eric and me would be great together.

When Abby came into town; jealousy arose in me like I have never felt it before. It was ridiculous. It felt weird, but I was angry for Eric noticing her other than me. The one who had been there the whole time; silently begging for him to notice me. Abby was found safe and all was good. They had both decided that the long distance thing was a bit too hard and called it a day. Much to my relief. 

Then came Nell. She was the new tech girl at NCIS. 'Someone to help us with the ever mounting backlog of cases'. Eric took an instant liking too her. And me, well I just hated her. She was attractive with her short and funky dyed orange hair; flawless skin and bright green eyes. The problem with her is that, she's so nice. She can't see Eric the way I do though. She's bright, intelligent, always up for a good laugh, and she gets along with everyone. She was our assistant. I ignored her most of the time though; Eric told her that I was a hard shell to crack and to give me some time to warm up to her. Even though we both knew that was a total load of crock. 

Everyone noticed my insecurity around her; and, just to get us better along with each other; Eric took me and her out surfing one night, the way we used to.  
He sat me down on the sand while Nell was out in the waves and told me that no one was ever going to get in between us; that we were still Batman and Robin. The dynamic duo. It was just that Nell was the new girl; she needed help to get on her feet. Then he reminded me of my first day and all my stuff ups. He promised me that there was never going to be anyone else other than me.

_It's always you_.

Those words will forever echo throughout my mind. They're a constant reminder that I was his and he was mine; even if we weren't romantically linked. 

His hands almost fit perfectly in mine as he pulled me up with him; the waves were crashing along the shore as the warm wind blew through my dark brown hair.  
We walked towards the ocean and watched the wave's crash into the ocean. The large moon lighting up the waves.

I let go of his hand as Nell ran out of the ocean with Eric's board, a large grin on her face. She tells us how amazing it was out there and we should go out. I see the twinkle in her eyes and note how my own eyes show that same one whenever I'm around Eric.  
I decide to bow out gracefully. 

I walk home alone again; turning down Eric's request to drive me home. I don't know where I'm going, but before I actually comprehend it; I'm standing out the front of Callen's newest 'jive'.  
I gingerly walk up the many stairs and into the building; noting the run down look to it. I knew he would be awake at this time so I knock on his door; hoping that he wouldn't mind me staying here for a bit; just until I decided what I should do about Eric and Nell.

When he opens the door; he's still wearing the same clothes he was during the day, he looks wide awake. His eyes narrow at me slightly as he asks what I'm doing there. 

I shrug and say that I just need somewhere to chill for a bit and figured that since you don't sleep; I figured it would be cool if I came over to keep him company.  
He seems okay with that explanation as he opens his door further; allowing me to walk further in. I see the many cans of soda on the coffee table and the made-up bed on the couch.

I sit down on the floor in an Indian type position and sigh; I ask him if it's a bad idea to want to be in a relationship with someone you work with. He just shrugs and sits down on his couch; drinking from his opened can of soda and placing it back onto the couch. He tells me that I can't control who I fall for, but I can control what I do about it. He says that he's noticed my jealousy around Nell and asks if what I'm feeling for Eric is worth fighting for.

Slowly, I shrug my shoulders and tell him that I wasn't so sure anymore. Not with Nell around. Not with the way she looks at him.  
Callen nodded and folded his hands in his lap; also shrugging at me. He explains that if I feel as strongly as he thinks I do about Eric that I should take the chance and tell him; because I may not have another chance.  
I looked at my watch and smiled at Callen, standing up. I thanked him and walked towards the door; pulling my phone out of my pocket.  
Callen tells me to have a good night as he opened the door for me; saying that he'll see me tomorrow. I send a text to Eric telling him to meet me at the pier.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Thanks tones to _LostForeverInHisEyes _for the reviews!

**Disclaimer:** Still. Not. Mine.

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I try.

God do I try so hard to make him see me in a different way. There was this one time, this once when I went out and got hair extensions, just because I thought he may like me. Everyone commented on how much better I looked with long hair, but Eric didn't. He just smirked and nodded at me before turning back to the computer. I could have thumped him then and there.

A week later I was back to having my shoulder length, over frizzy hair. Although, I am getting better at managing it.  
He then told me that he liked the shoulder look on me and that maybe I should try some sort of balm in my hair to make it better. I didn't even bother to ask how he knew that.

I asked him to meet me at the pier. _Our_ pier. The pier we went to when we first were introduced to each other.  
But, I had a text from him to saying that he couldn't; he was invited for a drink with Nell. I silently seethed, I was actually kinda pissed. But hey, what can I do about it. I turned on my heel and began to walk home; my hair frizzy, my make-up sort of running down my face as the heavens open up and start to drench me. God, as if my night can't get any worse.

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I trudged though the office; my head low, hair tied back in a frizzy braid, my black ballet shoes dragging along the floor. I slowly walked up the ops room and sat down at the computer; my head falling into my hands.  
Eric asks me if I had a late night; he wouldn't know, he was too busy out with Nell. I wonder what I should tell him; if I should tell him that I'm crazy about him. That he's the only one in the world that I would even look at twice.

I used to wish that things were so much simpler then this. That I wasn't in too deep with the blonde haired man, that I wasn't crazy on love with him, that I could easily walk away from the job at the end of the day, that I could easily walk away from him. But, as the months turned into years, walking away started to get harder and harder for me. It was like he was suffocating me.

He once told me that we'll remain best friends, that he will always come to me when he has girl problems and vice versa. But, my problem is that I don't have any guy problems, well, I suppose I do. But my only problem is with him. Because he is my problem. Nothing sucks more then being in love with your best friend.

I watch as Nell walks into the office with a large smile and waves to Eric and me; I can't help but watch the interaction between her and him; it almost breaks my heart; but I don't let it. Because I know if I do, then it won't get mended as easily.  
Eric flicks my ear and I slap his face gently; it's the usual banter like this which gives me hope that maybe he really does recouperate my feelings.

Sometimes he looks at me and it's like he's almost afraid of me. Afraid of the things that we do; the playful bickering, the play fighting. Sometimes I swear, when I put my hand on his chest to push him, I can feel his heart beat so much faster then it should be. But maybe that's my imagination. Maybe it's my mind hoping for something that isn't there.

There was a time; it seems like such a long time ago now; but there was once a time when the thought of falling in love with Eric would make her laugh, it would make her laugh to an extent that she once fell over and hit the back of her head on the pool table. (Or was that when Nate crashed a car in the carpark?)

Anyway, but slowly, I started to notice the little things about him; the way tapped his fingers on the keyboard when he gets nervous; that his most hated food is Thai, or that whenever I call, no matter what the time; he would always be on my doorstep exactly five minutes later.

I suppose it's the little things that make me love him; the small glances, the way he would make me laugh.

He's my best friend.

God; this is going to be harder then anything.


	4. Breathe

**Author's Note:** ~ Back in five; Jeremy Kyle's on~

**Disclaimer:** If I didn't own it three chapters ago; why change now?

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_Breathe, just breathe,  
Take the world off your shoulders  
and put it on me  
breathe, just breathe,  
Let the life that you live be all you need_

I could feel the tears splash down on to my cheeks. I sat at the bar, a white wine cradled in my hands. My boots tapping some unknown tune in my head. She was here because of _him_.

_Because he broke her heart._

I picked up the glass sourly and pulled it to my lips; taking a long and generous drink of it. My mind was seething at the days events. It started out innocently enough; the three of us. Eric, Nell and me. Playing around the ops room; doing what we always do. Well, what we used to do before Nell came into the picture. And then, I turned my back for two seconds to check on the computer programme I was uploading and when I turned around; I saw Nell's lips on Eric's.  
They were kissing.

_She suffocated the tears in her eyes._

Hetty didn't even bother to stop me as I stormed out of the OSP office; my mind wiling the tears at the back of my eyes not to fall just yet. Wait until I was by myself. And that's how I ended up here. In some seedy bar on Sunset Boulevard. The smoke around me fills my lungs, but it doesn't matter if it suffocates me; my mind tells me that I'm already suffocating.

_That kiss._

Tears fell down my cheeks more as I heard my phone ring. The usual ringtone of 'Never leave you' plays throughout my handbag. I pulled it out and looked at the caller ID.  
Eric.  
I wanted to answer it; to tell Eric where I was and ask him to come talk to me; ask him why he did it. But I couldn't bring myself to press the little green button and answer him. Instead I pressed the red one and threw it back into my handbag.

I couldn't believe that he would do that; that he would kiss her. In front of me. I gave a small scoff as I took the last sip of my wine and placed it on the bench. The barmaid asked if I wanted another glass; which I declined. Stating that I needed to get back to work.

_She needed to face him sooner or later._

I took a deep breath and slid off my barstool, picking up my handbag and walking out into the Los Angeles heat. It's better to do this sooner rather then later I suppose.


	5. Higher

**Author's Note: Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm glad you're all enjoying this!**

**

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**

_**It's getting closer,**__**  
I'm movin' in and there are things ya know.  
And I'm sick of playing games,  
And I'm not go'n say no names.  
But you and I know who to blame...**_

I hated this time of year; really, I did. The traffic was backed up for miles along the freeway and I was stuck bang smack in the middle of it. It was quite warm so all my windows were down, my damn phone wouldn't stop ringing. I picked up the offending device and thought, just for a moment, about throwing it out of the back window.

Instead I threw the phone in the back seat and turned my radio up; drowning out the familiar ringtone. The lump in my throat continued to grow as I blinked back tears. I can't believe he kissed her. I can't believe SHE kissed HIM!  
They had only known each other for what, three, four months. We had known each other for years and he hadn't even shown any type of non-brotherly affection towards me.

The traffic moves quite literally half a mile an hour. It's hot, I'm quite pissed and stuck in a traffic jam. This really isn't my afternoon.

I'm considering going straight home if I ever get out of this damn traffic, I don't think I could go back to NCIS, not now, not after what I saw.  
Once again I can hear my phone ringing. My hands tighten around my steering wheel as I catch a glimpse of the ramp I'm meant to go down to go home. Yep, I'm leaving. Quickly, with a flash of a look behind me, I skip across two lanes and down the ramp. Home free.  
I mentally cheer my own name.

When I arrive at my apartment, there's a familiar figure standing out the front of the security door.  
It's Eric.  
Eric, is here.  
Why does this surprise me?

I let out a small groan and climbed out of my car, locking it behind me. I march up to Eric and tell him to move so I can open my door. He gingerly does so and I punch in my code; pulling open the door in a huff.  
He's pleading for me to listen to him. That him kissing Nell wasn't what it looked like.

He tells me that just because she kissed him doesn't mean that he kissed her back. He tells me that there's someone else and he wouldn't do that to her.  
And I can feel my heart shatter. I turn around and ask Eric if he could just leave. I don't want to hear that he has a new girlfriend; I don't want him to ask me to meet her like he usually does; I don't want to pretend anymore.

He nods once and steps off the concrete step. His head is bowed and his face looks disheartened. He tells me that nothing is what it seems before saying his goodbye and walking away.  
And I can't believe I'm letting him walk away. After everything we've been through, every hug, every death, every mission, and it's a stupid kiss that breaks our friendship.

Before I open my mouth to call out to him, he's already in his car and gone.  
And I just blew my chance.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Thanks you all so much for the reviews! I know this isn't the best story that I've ever written, nor the longest. But I've decided that I'm going to finish this story here and now! Hor-ah!

_

I don't remember how this happened.  
Nor do I remember how I got here. All I know is that I'm now on my couch with tears falling hot and heavy on my cheeks; a half empty bottle of wine on the glass coffee table. For some reason, I've always found alcohol as my comforter. Ever since I was legally able to drink. I've always turned to it in my time of need. 

I know it's stupid because it's something that can kill me so quickly. I love it; it's warm embrace usually taking me in the early hours of the morning. Eric was always telling me that I should stop drinking so much, but Eric wasn't here was he. He was with _her_ probably. 

He was probably with her making her life better, making her life so much lighter. While mine was so much worse and so much darker. I hated him in that moment. I hated him because he's made me care. He's made me love him to the extent where I can't even look at another man. There was once a time when I was in love with Callen for God sake. But that soon changed when I looked at Eric in that one different way. When he took my hands and promised me that he wouldn't hurt me the way everyone else had. 

He was different and I hated him for it. Because he could make me cry with a look; he could make me cry with a word.  
I was so caught up in my misery that I didn't even hear the door opening or closing. Nor did I hear the gentle footsteps making their way over to me.  
He was there in front of me; looking at me with those eyes which I could loose myself in for hours on end. 

He was crouched down; his hands on the glass, taking it away from me so I couldn't hide behind it any longer. He was there because he was searching for answers to the unasked questions.  
His eyes asked me the question which both of us were too afraid to ask. 

_Are you in love with me?_

I don't know how to respond; there's so much silence between us that it almost pains me to breath in front of him; I know I'm not as drunk as I'd like to be; but I still have enough sense to know that leaning forward, kissing all my hurt and pain away would most likely ruin everything between us.  
Instead I ask him in a voice I barely recognise as my own why? 

Why did he kiss her? Why the hell did he do it in front of me? 

And with a small smile on his face he tells me that everything isn't what it seems and that he never kissed her back. He's telling me this in the way he told me that very afternoon. Like if he repeats it I'd understand what he's trying to tell me. But I can't focus; everything is fogged up like a window. I can barely concentrate. 

He's staring at me with his eyes begging for me, begging for my attention. I don't know why he is; but I can feel my tongue unconsciously lick my unusually dry lips. My throat has constricted as I explain to him that I don't want to know if he has a relationship with her, that I don't care anymore because I'm too tired.  
Before I comprehend my thoughts, tears have once again fallen down my cheeks and his hands are there. On either side, brushing them away with his thumbs. 

He wants me to stop crying; I know I hurt him when I cry because he's told me that before. He's told me that so many times before when I have cried. If it's from heart break or actual pain; he said he hates it because he doesn't feel like he can stop it.  
I lean into his touch as he continues to stroke my cheeks with his thumbs. I want to admit everything, I want to admit that I love him so much that it hurts. The pain of that reality hurts to much to even say.

He leans ever so closely to me; I can feel his breath on my face. His breath smells like spearmint while his deodorant smells like the one I've dreamt of so many nights in the past. Ever so quietly, so quietly that I'm not even sure that he asks me, he asks if I love him.  
My heart feels so tight inside me that I don't think my chest could keep it inside. I nod; ever so slightly, I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do. The right answer to the question. 

Before I know it his lips are pressed to mine. It's a single fluid motion which makes blood rush to my brain, it makes my heart thump double time; it's a single fluid motion which tells me that all that worrying about her, all those subtle little hints which make me think that the love has been between us all along. And I don't once hesitate to bring my hands to the back of his next and pull him closer to me.  
He pulls back and tells me he loves me more then anything in the world, that he loves me more then he ever thought possible. He looks at me, searching my eyes, and asks if I feel the same. 

I look at him and everything falls into place. The little things which have led us here tonight. To share the kisses we have both longed for. I look at him and I smile softly. 

"I do" 

And it's all either of us have to say tonight.


End file.
